Dream on...

One year ago, I started this blog to solve the 2 major problems of my life:
1. How to make tons of money.
2. How to find the perfect woman.

The plan was simple. I would write in the blog. It would be funny and witty. I would then publicize the blog using cheap publicity stunts like:
1. Emailing every one in my contacts list.
2. Shameless word-of-mouth publicity (read my previous post - 'Why the name?' ).
3. Chinese Water Torture technique on my close friends.
4. And last but not the least, using the greatest (cheapest) publicity tool available to my generation - The Orkut Scrapbook.

According to my initial analysis and going by the response I got to my first post, I predicted that the readership of my blog would be something like:
End of first month - 10
End of second month - 100
End of third month - 1000
End of first year - 1000000

Now, no matter which way you look at it, a readership of 1 million has got to be worth something. I figured one of the big powerhouses of the web world (Google, yahoo, Amazon...) would buy me out. I would have settled for no less than $500 Million.

So this would have taken care of the 'tons of money' angle.

Now, the 'find the perfect woman' part of the plan was a bit more complicated.

To do this, I would have produced and acted in a film with the superstar Rajnikant. I would have hired Hrithik Roshan as a "Dance Double", John Abraham as a "Face Double", and KK as my "Acting Double". The rest I would have done myself. Needless to say, this film would have gone on to become India's biggest hit and because of the presence of both a North Indian (me) and Rajnikant (THE South Indian), I would have become a house hold name all over India. Now since the film would be such a big hit, it would be invited as an entry in the Cannes film festival. And there, on the red carpet, I would bump into Angelina Jolie. Our eyes would meet, sparks would fly, my "Body double", Salman Khan, would kick Brad Pitt's ass, and Angie and I would live happily ever after in a vineyard in France.

The plan was foolproof. It had to work.

But somehow, as I sit back now and reflect upon the 12 months that have passed since I started this blog, I find myself with a bank balance that is dangerously close to 3 figures and the only "New woman" in my life is the new maid that comes to my house. She doesn't speak any language that I understand, doesn't listen to Classic Rock, is not a fan of Manchester United, doesn't play basketball and doesn't like English Literature.
And I don't think she's a model either.

Oh, and the readership count of my blog has not crossed over into that mysterious realm of 2-digits.

Crap!