Friday, May 26, 2006

grammer

today is going to be a good day.
yes. it feels like today is going to be a good day.
i kept repeating this to myself as i left my flat. maybe one last try to convince my mind. one last try to be positive before the day finally begins. sat on my bike. started moving. looked at the road.
nope.
i don't think today is going to be a good day after all. i don't know if its going to be a bad day either. does it make a difference anyways?
why do we have to measure each day by its goodness? why can't a day just be a day? why can't we leave it alone to do the things that a day is supposed to do to you. why do we keep a mental diary where we make a tick mark against every "Good" day and at the end of a particular amount of time, if we have more ticks than blanks, we come to the conclusion that our life is good and that we are happy.
consider for a moment that our life is not supposed to be good or bad. we were just a bunch of atoms floating around till we were born. i was born into a conventional middle-class family. i could as easily have been born the son of the sultan of brunei. or the son of a homeless beggar. the point here is that there is no universal frame of reference to compare lives. no one chose to be born in a particular place. there is no universal observer who is observing the quality of our lives. it would have been a different thing if we had an idea of our previous lives - assuming the concept of "previous lives" exists.
but assuming that it exists, we would have had a frame of reference to measure the quality of our lives. with respect to our other lives that is.
so, wouldn't it be so much simpler if we just let go of the concept that our lives have to be either good or bad. that our days have to be happy or sad.
it seems to me that there are people who's life is punctuated by occasional "sad" days. your stereotypical "Happy" people (happy by whose standards i wonder??). and there are people whose life is punctuated by occasional "Happy" days. the stereotypical "Sad" people. and then there are people like me whose life failed in high school grammer. no punctuation marks. one endless sentence. one word after another. an occasional extra spacing between words here and there. An occasional use of proper Casing now and then. an endless stream of thoughts.

and i live on....

".... my life is brilliant,
my love is pure....."